Excuse Me, What?

Lyrics

Walked into the コンビニ, feeling brave
Opened my mouth — dug my own grave
I said 箸ください — wanted chopsticks to eat
But the lady pointed outside to the bridge on the street

髪 — is it paper, hair, or God?
雨 — rain or candy, pick your card
Every word's a landmine, every pitch is a trap
One wrong tone and the whole thing snaps

I practiced in the mirror, I had it down perfect
Stepped outside and — was it even worth it?

すみません、何?!
Did I say that right?
すみません、何?!
Their face says I didn't quite
I meant to say one thing but something else came out
すみません、何?!
What's my mouth talking about?
(what's it talking about?!)

Tried to tell her 暑い — "today is so hot!"
She looked at me weird — that's 厚い, not what I thought
Thick? Heavy? No no no, I meant the weather!
She walked away fast, couldn't make it better

At the 居酒屋 trying to order right
ビールください — okay that went alright!
But then I said お金がない with a smile
She thought I was joking — I was dying inside

Google translate, you were supposed to help
But you made me tell my boss he smells

すみません、何?!
Did I say that right?
すみません、何?!
Their face says I didn't quite
I meant to say one thing but something else came out
すみません、何?!
What's my mouth talking about?
(何?! 何?!)

You know what the worst part is?
I studied for three years
Three years...
And yesterday... I accidentally told my 先生 that
I am a りんご
I am not an apple, 先生
I am NOT an apple

But you know what? At least they laughed
At least they smiled when I crashed
Maybe broken 日本語 is still 日本語
Maybe messing up is how you grow

すみません、何?!
Did I say that right?
すみません、何?!
You know what — CLOSE ENOUGH!
I meant to say one thing but something else came out
すみません、何?!
But I'll never shut my mouth!
(never shut my mouth!)

すみません... すみません...
(もう一回... one more time...)