I Didn't Sign Up For This

Tang Monk narrates the exhausting westward journey he never quite agreed to lead.

Yo, I saw your little song go viral, Wukong
Neo-soul, smooth bars, everybody sing along
But let me tell the side of the story y'all don't know
The man behind the monkey tryna run this whole show

Buddha said "Go west, fetch the scriptures, be brave"
He ain't mention I'd be kidnapped every other day
九九八十一难 eighty-one trials on the road
I'm a MONK with no powers carrying everyone's load

Bajie out here flirting with the village chief's daughter
Wujing just standing there like living furniture
And YOU, mister "Great Sage Equal to Heaven"
Threw hands at the Jade Emperor, now you need my redemption?

阿弥陀佛 I'm trying to keep my cool
But traveling with these three is making me a fool

I didn't sign up for this, 我没答应
Demons every mile, 我没答应
Monkey throwing fists, pig can't stop eating
I didnt't sign sign up for this

Every cave we pass, some demon wants to cook me
"Oh, Tang Monk flesh grants immortality" yeah, lucky me
I'm a walking buffet with a prayer bead necklace
Three bodyguards who can't agree on the best method

Wukong wanna smash first, ask questions never
Bajie wanna quit and go home every time there's weather
Wujing - bro, do you even talk? Say something!
白龙马 got more personality and he's a horse

Remember 白骨精? You said "Master, she's a demon!"
I said "No, she's a nice lady!" okay, I wasn't seeing
You were right, I was wrong, I admit it, fine
But did you have to kill her three times to prove your point?

紧箍咒 yeah, that's my only flex
One spell and you're on the ground, so show some respect

I didn't sign up for this, 我没答应
Demons every mile, 我没答应
Monkey throwing fists, pig can't stop eating
I didnt't sign sign up for this

(But honestly though)

十万八千里 a hundred and eight thousand li
Four misfits walking, and somehow that includes me
You broke out of a mountain, pig fell from the sky
A river demon and a dragon horse and then there's this guy
No powers, no magic, can't even swing a sword
Just faith and these scriptures and a prayer to the Lord
Maybe Buddha knew exactly what he was doing
The weakest one leads 'cause the strongest need direction

(阿弥陀佛)

I didn't sign up for this, 我没答应
Demons every mile, 我没答应
But we're almost at the west and I ain't quitting
I still didn't sign up for this